I never really understood what being a parent meant. I saw other people with kids and thought nothing of it. My sisters had children before I did, and I could not understand what the big deal was! It’s easy to be a Mom! It’s just a normal part of life. Easy peasy. It wasn’t until the day I had my first baby, that I felt the extreme magnitude of Motherhood. The intense, and very difficult delivery I endured that day, changed me as a person. When I saw that little creature, I was never again the same. No longer was it just me and my husband, and what we wanted. We had a tiny little boy who would rely on us for everything from this moment on. Wow, what a feeling! What a responsibility! Funny because it’s something I don’t think you truly realize until that baby comes out. You plan and plan for their arrival, but not until they enter the world do you get it. Motherhood is an amazing journey.. these little people are your entire world. I say that because it’s a fact. You’re life 100% evolves around them, and your heart is 100% filled up by them. Not only that, somehow all your brain cells go to them, too. I swear, I used to be smarter!
There are many emotions I experience on a daily basis as a Mom. I wanted to share the 3 things that can make me feel like an absolute crazy person. Never before have I experienced such intense unconditional love & happiness, and at the same time want to pull my hair out or hide in the bathroom alone with a glass of wine. Moms… can you relate to this?
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Demand your attention constantly
Gone are the days where you leisurely would drink your coffee and think about what you’d like to do that day. My one cup of coffee gets reheated probably 3 times before it’s finished. Long showers are out the window. Before I had kids, I remember my mom-friend saying she’s been taking prison showers for the last 2 years. Now THAT’S accurate. You put a show on TV and move all your products to the downstairs bathroom. Watching your toddler through the glass, and praying you can rinse out all the conditioner before he realizes he wants to take advantage of the situation.
These little luxuries are now replaced with tiny versions of you, who stare at you all day. Stare. Like, come on lady- what you got? Entertain me. And, it better be good, or the whining begins. You must give snacks and clean them. Make them laugh and play Thomas the Train with them for hours on end. Put your head under the blanket and pop it out to say ‘boo!’ 100 times in a row. Wipe their booty when finished on the potty.. ‘Mom! I’m doooooone!!’. I hear this a few times a day usually. That’s how I’m summoned to the bathroom for a wipe. When I enter, my 3 year old son has his hands up high against the wall, bent over like he’s about to be frisked by an officer. Really child?
There’s no stopping while they are awake. There’s always a meal to fix and feed them.. and when I say feed them, I mean totally destroy the kitchen making the toddler and baby things they will ‘eat’.. just to have them look at it like you are actually serving poison. There are dishes to be washed, laundry to be done, diapers to change and teeth to brush. Books to read.. and don’t forget the constant discipline when you have a toddler. That alone is enough to make you lose your mind.
All these things and more, every single day. I have never been so completely exhausted, so totally frustrated, so sure I was going to run out of steam. But, it is the most wonderful thing I have ever had the honor of feeling. Isn’t that nuts?? Man, it’s tough. Being a good Mom is not for the weak…but, being a good Mom is the biggest accomplishment I could achieve. Raising people who will contribute wonderful things to this world, is worth every second of attention they demand. So, bring it on little offspring. Mama is prepared to fulfill these requests, because you are so darn cute. (But hey, keep the coffee comin’)
2. They do not sleep in on weekends. They do not sleep in E V E R.
You are having such a nice dream, there are ocean waves and cold beverages, while sitting in the warm Mexican sun. You are in a deep, deep sleep. The bed is sooo cozy, you could sleep forever…Then suddenly you are awoken by a sound. “Mommy. Kade Bryan here. Good morning Mommy and Daddy. I brought my pillow and blankie.” You are jolted out of that sleep and forced to peel your eyes open as much as possible to wave your child into the bed. Maybe he’ll lay there quietly so you can sleep 5 more minutes. Climbing up and grunting while making his way onto the bed, tiny knees and elbows hitting you in the stomach and face as he lays down in the middle. Not more than 15 minutes later, baby sister wakes up and starts babbling in her crib. The day has begun. It’s 7:15am.
Sometimes my hubby and I look over at each other and say, ‘What if we could just sleep in one day? Like till 10. Wouldn’t that be amazing?? ‘ We think about it and wish for it… then realize that is not going to happen for YEARS. Many years. We will always be forced out of bed by a midget on a daily basis.
I looove me some sleep. I mean, I could fall asleep right now and that would be awesome. But, the part I haven’t yet mentioned is that those 15 minutes my son is in the bed with me in the morning is one of the most special parts of my day. He is still a little sleepy, and he cuddles me really close. He has warm, little boy morning breath.. and he sometimes will say ‘Mommy, I love you.’ He rubs his tiny nose against mine and smiles at me. Then baby sister comes in the bed, and they laugh and roll around with each other. It is something I will treasure forever. I know this won’t last. One day he’ll wake up and not want to cuddle with Mommy in the morning anymore. He will decide he’s too grown up for that. So, even though I may never sleep past 7AM again, I wouldn’t trade those morning snuggles with my babies, for anything.
Cue coffee again.
3. You want a break so bad, but don’t want to leave
#1 and #2 bring about #3. You are never alone, you always have a child with you. Unless they are napping (from 2-4pm each day. MANDATORY ME TIME).. then you are looking at the clock thinking, ‘What is the number one thing I need to get done before they wake up? That’s it! Ok, GO GO GO!! You’ve got approximately 97 minutes left to make it happen!’ Sometimes you just reeeally want to go on a trip with your man for a few days. Somewhere tropical and all-inclusive. Just relax and sleep and eat and repeat. You want a good old fashioned break. So, you talk about what you want to do and where you’ll go.. and how glorious it will be to just do whatever YOU want.
But, then I think about my babes and leaving them with someone else. It makes me miss them, and already inside my mind I’m thinking about all the things our sitters (sorry Mom and Dad) will do differently than I do. AKA wrong. I always like things done a certain way. (I know, I have control issues) Hmmm….. maybe we’ll just take a family vacation instead. They would love to go with us! Ha.
Mommyhood is the most magical, tiring, heartwarming, emotional, incredible experience I’ve ever had. I feel blessed to be in this life. Bring on the next 50 years!! (But seriously, coffee and wine for survival)
XOXO,
Kelly